I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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