Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
