you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
