I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
