You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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