The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
