The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
