and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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