you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
