Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
