You're so nebulous sometimes
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
