p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
