he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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