Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
