maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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