He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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