She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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