apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
