dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
