woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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