so that wasnt chicken after all
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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