I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
