Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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