Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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