Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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