The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I touched a dick in church today
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
