hell yes lets make some ravioli
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
