My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
this will be a night to untag.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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