I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
