some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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