I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
