apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
