how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
