Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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