I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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