in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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