I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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