Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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