He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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