I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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