he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
