dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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