if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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