If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
