it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
