3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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