i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
