I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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