i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
