no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
